NS begins soon.. i have to begin to blog regularly. i believe that this will be the only thing which i will be able to do while in ns to keep me connected to the world. I'm rather pissed at myself for not being able to stop smoking. i wonder what the fuck is wrong with me. About 4-5 months ago, i had such will and tried and tried but after failing a couple of times, the will of the spirit has surrenderred. If i want to not to be an addict, i have to start to stop now. Else. The consequences will be grave. I dun wanna be a smoker all my life. I dun wan my kids to get afffected and all. I'm scared but i cant make the step. At least i cant do it alone.

Lord if you can hear me, forgive me my sins and cover me with your blood. Lord thank you for granting me wisdom to discern the ways of this world. Please grant me the determination. Please. Amen