3 damn computers are all finally clean from everything. Seriously tired and i dun wanna formatting for like at least another year. At least. Seems that the starhub offer for laptops is no more so i guess cheryl missed out on a real deal. I mean it was like almost free. O well. Hopefully there will be another offer soon so that she can get one. I really think that she needs one and a personal one in my opinion will be a real good idea.

Left knee is being a bitch. I have no idea whats wrong with it. Maybe i a dying.

The horrendous, dun mind my spelling, weather is predicted to be less wet so i think i have to finally get my ass downstairs for a run maybe. Have been procrastinating for every so long. Really have toget down to it. I believe it will be good for me. I feel so weak now. :(

The past few days has been just like the days before it just once the new year begins, i will get more organised and work towards the goals for the day. Hopefully i get all of that done so the holidays wont be a total waste.

So lethargic. O ya. I now have a cat in my house in aussie!

So far since i have been back, i have formatted and installed all the required programs into one computer. There are still another 2 more to go. The painful part is not the formatting but usually what happens after which is the installing of all the old programs to make it work like it is supposed to. The one computer alone took me like half a day to install all the programs (also coz i slept in between) and another 2 days of testing and fixing up all the little glitches here and there.

The painful part for me is clearing / backing up all the information that is in my computer. These are all the shows and all which i watch. There is nothing illegal and is totally moral (meaning there is no porn so dun think otherwise). I have burnt like 25 dvds already to try to fit other information like my songs and photos into the hdd. Damn its tormenting.

While doing so, i have discovered that there are many shows, which i have already burnt and have all the intention in the world to keep, that pple have borrowed and not returned to me. You bloody motherF*ckers. i am very disappointed. So to all of you that have yet to return me, please do so. Cheryl, Weiliang and Sio are exempted coz they have told me that they have my discs.

So why is the rest of the world reading all this shit. Well, i thought about it and i will not be lending shows to pple anymore. If you want, you can request from me and i will burn it for you at a fee. Its amount has yet to be decided on but hopefully it will help to pay for my internet and elec bill (since i require a computer and the internet connection to do so). If you not happy, download your @#$%ing self. I will create a page over the next 2 months of what i have on hand.

The mandate is final!

Since juliet has arrived, its been showering. I've been waiting so long for her and when she finally comes, we are just pulled apart. The rain pours, the sun hides, lightning and thunder accompany her. raining sun

Jem did not manage to get into ACS barker so have applied and he was supposed to go for a rugby trial so as try to to get in. He is now in hosiptal with suspected appendisitis or however that is spelt. opportunistic loss

Birthdays are supposed to be of happiness. For Kids, its the one day of freedom when sometimes they are allowed to do anything. and jem is going to be trapped in that sterile bubble for at least a few more days. confined freedom

Taking care of them intermittently over the past couple of weeks has really brought about the love and connection to kids. And to some extent nostalgia. The energy of youth with the burdens of adults. Nostalgic Energy

I am rather drained. ITS NAP TIME! (for me)

166.5 hours ago, i got my fruits of the labour i put in for about half a year. As disappointed as i was, i learnt to deal with it. No matter how much i'd like it to change, it won't. But yes i am still happy that i did not fail nothing. But with only 3 more semesters, i can only hope and pray that i will reach the targetted goal. Thank you Lord, i am contented.

While calculating the number of hours above, have come to realise that my brain is dying. It is said that your brain cells stop multiplying after the age of 2. I have to start to exercise it again. It took me 45 secs before figurig out the result. My brain is dying. And if you think i am like dumb, think again. Yours could be dying at a faster rate.

So its been from here to there and being a nanny here and there. Tiff is still so cute and so sensitive. The toll of events has taken its raid on me. I hope i dun fall sick. Anyway, its just a few more days till the return of the king and queen of which i am the prince. I both look forward and backward to it. But yes i miss them dearly. &&&&&& my juliet is coming!!..

In the hectic moments, i have failed to sort whats in my head. Its just trying hard to relax coz i know that once school reopens, hell's void will flip the closed to open. And i am supposed to start studying for next year for the programming stuff which i have not done for like 4 fucking years. I have no idea how the shit i am going to do that but i pray that God's grace be with me.

There are 2 roads. but there is only one. Without his leading, i cannot choose so i look to the depth and into oblivion. I sense an answer but what could it be?

And so i sing to myself "go to sleep now close your eyes as you dream of tomorrow, all the stars wish you goodnight and i'm switching off the light."---and yes i have spent a little too long with my little darling cousins.

Lord, thank you for my results. I know that without you i dun think that i could have performed that well. Help my heart as it does not feel contented. I know that i could have done better but for the amount of effort put in i think that i would have failed. Thank you for your guidance, thank you for your wisdom. I pray that you will forever be with me. Thank you for each and every new day that comes by. Thank you for bringing my cousins closer to me. I pray that you will be with my aunt and kids through this period of time. Their struggles, you lift them. Their burdens,you oblilerate them. I pray that you will be with my parents at this time granting them journey mercy. Thank you lord for your faithfulness. I pray that i may yet again fall into your presence. Amen.

Results are out. I did ok. Am not overjoyed but i am happy that i have not failed. I got 2 H1, 1 H2A and a H3. I know i can do better.

Went to carbivore at vivo city today. I think that i ate too much. For that $30 spent, i think i ate a fair share. Its been a long while since my stomach has told me that i have had too much. There is a possibility that i could have eaten more but i think that i ate too fast, too furious.

Caught an EPL match and its good to be home. Though i am alone at home again and when its alone, i dun feel that its alone. It feels so foreign. Well, nette will be back on wed and my parents on the 17th so i guess its gonna be like that for a bit.

Time to hit the bed. Dun think that this was a really marvelously written entry but its just to update you all on me!

Those off you who are in Singapore... CALL ME LARRRRR!!!

Last you heard from me, i was drained. Now i am even more so. Current energy level: 25%. Its like all hell broke loose and its Midshipmen days (my navy training days) all over again. The 3-4 Hours of sleep packaged with the other 18-19 hours of constant stress and forcing the best out of yourself with only 1-2 hours to let the already overheated till its smoking mind sublimate into oblivion where you know and feel nothing (somewhat alike to ease).

Took on the load of the 4 devils today. If you are thinking of a shit load of kids and not hiring a maid in the future, think hard, think longer and think again. And if your answer is still yes, repeat the cycle. If you have taking organisational processes, you will see where i am getting at. But there is a exception. If you by some blessing from God, i mean it both in a sarcastic and non-sarcastic manner, have to these miraculous beauties, stand tall. Take a deep breath and pray for god-strength. Both mentally and physically because it will be of upmost importance. The basic need.

They have driven me up the wall, back from the ceiling. And that process have been going round and round or shall i say over and over all day. A cycle of endless pain and suffering, encompassed with mental destruction and with a dangerous amount of emotional attachment. I shall name them 12, 10, 8 and 6 so as to keep their identity secret. 12 has been a blatant liar the entire day, trying to weasel his way into and out of situations and always trying to get the last word and get everyone to listen to them. Outrageously blunt, so much so that nothing is going through a thought process in his head. I wanna scold him and really kick his ass but... maybe its the puberty kickstarting but either way the time is just wrong.... 10 has been ok. polite but rude at the same time. She is the least worry of them all. 8 has been barely ok. Very much like 10 but more kiddy but i cannot blame him coz he is a kid. Sometimes is too put down by the rest and creates a scene but he will be ok. At least 10 and 8 can share. 6... wow.. where should i start. She has magical powers to make people love her. and she totally gets her way. i have to admit that even sometimes i give in. I little bitch really. So spoilt. O well...ihave to say that even through all these, i love them unconditionally.

Exam results appear on the eighth. My fate will be shown. I dunno what to do. So come on everybody, pray for me. But to show the trust in God, and also coz i am so tired, i shall not worry. I declare i will do well in Your name. I place my trusts and hopes in you Lord.

So far the only i have to look for is my ducati juliet will arrive in 12 days. I comes along with a lifetime of endless nagging from the parents for the explicit cost. But i have been looking at juliet for about 5 years now and i think its finally time i bring her home. No matter the outcome.

Lord i pray you cover them with the protetion, your blood keep them safe and pave the way and footstep of which they are to tread. Show her your light that her heart will be less heavy and as she drives around to get stuff to allow them to just function properly, that you keep her safe. Keep her mind alert as she treads upon this path so painful. Give her the wisdom of what is to be done and the stregth to perform the task. In your glorious name. Amen.

*time*to*crash*

Its been only a couple of days that i've been back but already so much has happened. Mostly, i've just met with a few friends. Thanks again Anand and Peter for getting me at the airport. And so the amazing journey beginnings. One of which most of us will never choose to lead or go through for that matter.

It seems like the 24/7 nature of recall will forever stay with me. Hear me out. Its not the NS thing again. Its family this time. Who would have thought that when my parents were away that i have to handle this. And no, its not my sis. But yes, its still blood. And blood is thicker than water so i am glad that i can help. And am happy to. Have had to step up to the challenge to let everything flow smoothly. Though i dun like it, it has really brought me closer to my aunt. and yes i am glad that it has.

So here i am in singapore, with so much to do but so little time but i am happy that i am here to help with the burdens through this entire period.

Finally had a tan today which was really awesome. The tightened skin, the flushed feeling and yes the sun has taken away a vast amount of energy but i am still awake to settle what i can. When you think about it, Its just eventful.

Sentosa has changed so much. Its awesome once again but i have serious doubts of some of the new futures of it that they are trying to incorporate. But then again, i am not an archi man. so lets leave it to the archi-pple. Ryce, Sio, Yaokang may your powers combine.

It pisses me off that the pple here dun fucking recycle. Its really unhealthy for the environment. I think that i should serious write in to the newspapers again. Yes i have written in before. But knowing our ever self centered economy, i bet they din publish it. I wish that pple would just fucking recycle. Those whores. When the world is turned to shit, they have only themselves to blame. And i have only them to blame. Those bastards.

Results are about to come out. D-day is the 8th and i really wanna get my results. I know that i am not going to do well but i leave the rest to the lord. There is nothing left that i can do anyway. I dun think i can get a H1 (distinction) for the sub that i wanna tutor next time so the tutoring oppotunity is squandered. Unless by some miracle. I have to say that i am still clinging to the last thread of that hope. But i am prepared. The oppotunity that i wanted to get so much is just 0.000000000000000001 to the power of a freaking million that i will get that chance. Let us see how this goes.

Guys, please still call me out. I really do wanna meet up with all of you!! and so you know, i return the melbourne on feb 3rd. Or at least, thats the plan.

Over and out.

Oh singapore oh singapore... i have returned.!