My grand dads birthday was yesterday and everyone gathered for dinner. Steamboat. I was lyk super late and some pple had already left. Am so tired. I wonder what life is about. Lord, to put me here? what were you thinking man. The despair is so immense i cannot handle it. I am on the verge of collapsing once again. It'd be cool if there was someone there to support me when i get lyk that but when i am about to crash, i'll crash anyway.
Jess. Jess. Jess. What the fuck went wrong? Y must you still hinder me. I wanna move. Let me. Y does my head not allow it? I've been staring out of the window for a while. Its been a long time. Feels like the tears are dying to flow out for no apparent reason but its being held back as well. Wonder whats happening.
In my lifetime, i only remember breaking down 3 times. Those were wow. crazy. What is causing this aura? Cant believe i asked ade to call me back later. Too fucked up at this point of time.
Anyway, back to the meeting, all of the aunties were lyk, wow, this is the first time i have seen you without dyed hair. Lyk fuck you all lar. This is why i seriously hate coming down for family stuff. Accept me for who i am dammit. Am sick and tired of the rubbish you put me through every year. If i wanted to study that hard, i'd be doing much better but there are things you will never understand about me so just fuck off and get off my back. Some aunties were nice though but we din get to talk much.
Later after eating, the kids went to play with sparklers. One vivid moment i remember was when Tiffany was holding 2 in her hands and swinging them around with not a care in the world. I want that. To not have a care whatsoever. To be able to enjoy the very moment. The smile was so real. Problem is she is only in Nursery2 (cant rem her age). Will life here catch up with her? I hope not. I hope she will always always have that smile on her face.
pure joy
it'd be cool
-i shall get back to ade-
Jess. Jess. Jess. What the fuck went wrong? Y must you still hinder me. I wanna move. Let me. Y does my head not allow it? I've been staring out of the window for a while. Its been a long time. Feels like the tears are dying to flow out for no apparent reason but its being held back as well. Wonder whats happening.
In my lifetime, i only remember breaking down 3 times. Those were wow. crazy. What is causing this aura? Cant believe i asked ade to call me back later. Too fucked up at this point of time.
Anyway, back to the meeting, all of the aunties were lyk, wow, this is the first time i have seen you without dyed hair. Lyk fuck you all lar. This is why i seriously hate coming down for family stuff. Accept me for who i am dammit. Am sick and tired of the rubbish you put me through every year. If i wanted to study that hard, i'd be doing much better but there are things you will never understand about me so just fuck off and get off my back. Some aunties were nice though but we din get to talk much.
Later after eating, the kids went to play with sparklers. One vivid moment i remember was when Tiffany was holding 2 in her hands and swinging them around with not a care in the world. I want that. To not have a care whatsoever. To be able to enjoy the very moment. The smile was so real. Problem is she is only in Nursery2 (cant rem her age). Will life here catch up with her? I hope not. I hope she will always always have that smile on her face.
pure joy
it'd be cool
-i shall get back to ade-
