Today was the first day i realised that i have not really put in the effort for a tutorial... I was back late yesterday and just did the tutorial. It was due for submission today and when i think about it, i did not put in that much effort in that. It has marks and i am rather pissed at myself that i did not do so.

The more i learn, the more i realise that there is so much that i do not know about especailly in my industry. I hate it... I feel dumb at times and that really stresses me out.

Koba working has to some extent taken a toll on the cheaper lifestyle. With his income everything is rather cheap. I still have to budget and it seems to me that this week i was have already spent quite a bit on eating out but i guess its ok since we are moving this weekend and it doesn make sense that i cook and have to wash everything all over again.

There is going to be much to do but thankfully god has granted me grace and i am able to keep up with certain things. Hopefully all the moving and everything else is going to go smoothly. Still have to purchase my bed and all that. There is going to be much looking and time spent to find these things. I have to really lok into it. I say the shelf that i wanted and its on offer but only in Sept. I am wondering whether i should just wait for it to be available instead of wasting money on it in the future. I hope that it'll be ok.

Cant wait to move. Just cant wait. A space to call my own though there is not going to be a bed yet.. Till i finally get it... I'll just pray that evrything goes smoothly first. Just one step at a time.

Tmr is the last day of the week! yahoo. More time but more stress.

Ok... Cup of tea time. Decided to take a break from trying to study coz nothing has gone in today.

O yeah ... need to get a nice pair of sunglasses. I was thinking of investing in a really nice pair but i think that price is crazy. I was looking at the oakley ducati juliet. Its just amazing. O well, things that i cannot afford.

Went to a friends place to do project yesterday and yet again it turnde out that not much work has been done. Sigh i wonder whether time can ever be optimised. Went to dinner coz it was only 10 dollars for a steak. No joke. Went to safeway to get milk and toilet rolls and rushed back.

I had a tutorial that i have to submit today. Heard that it was rather easy. But when i started. O my, it was not really. Slept about 1 or 2... cant rem but i remember that my answer for one of the questions was just crap.

Body aches but thankfully i hav a short day today. I must make sure that i make good use of my lab times so that i finish up what is needed to be done this week. I have yet to work ahead.

I'm going to be moving on friday midnight. I dun think anyone will be around to care when we move so i hope that thats good abd i hope that the process goes fine. Hopefully everything is good. Finally its so near to me moving that i feel that time is pasing so fast. O my. Isn't hat great. Before you know it i'll be back in singapore.

That also means ihave lesser time to study so i pray that i will be able to settle in quick, put my mind to it and work ahead. There is much to be done.

Today has been a relatively good day but i have yet to do some work so i am going to read now.At least thats counted as something. Its a nicer day today. Only bad thing that happened was that i was caught in the rain. Din get really drenched so thank god. Its just a short one for me today. Wink.

met andrea today. It was great to see a familiar face. Finally someone to really talk to. Though it was just for a little while i still truely appreciate it.

Came back at about 5 plus coz someone needed to claim her stuff from koba's apartment as we are moving out soon. Tried studying after that but i knocked out again. I dunno whats wrong with me. Sigh. I try hard to keep at it but i keep napping and it really spoils the studying mood. I wonder whether there is not enough oxygen somewhere or something. Could be coz i always close all the windows as its cold.

Some times i get so fed up that i just wanna break something. Sigh. I am trying so hard to control it. What used to be my only outlet and ease has sometimes turned out to be fucking hostile and i dunno what to do. Wherever i look i see nothing to pour it out to except God. Still i hear nothing from him anyway. But still i continue to seak.

Lord. take care of her health esp since that she has started her night classes. I pray for energy for her. I also ask if you can take away that spitefulness which i am so much on the end of. I have placed my worries and your word says do not fear. I pray you reinforce my strength. Both mentally and physically. That i may channel all that i have for my studies.

Woke up really late. Rushing to meet andrea now... it seems like so long since i;ve seen her. Anyway, think its her last term in melb so yeah. Yet another fren gone. Anyway, i'm late... Woke up so late i totally forgot about going to Victoria market with Brandon and Darren. Shit. By the time i called they had already finished and were having lunch. O well. Ok. Gotta rush

I think that main reason why i have yet to settle down is that i have no where to settle to. There isn't something i have to call home just yet. Not my own room, not my own space. I'm still living in a suitcase. For those whom do not know what that is like, It not fun in the least bit. Its really a pain in the ass. I wish that things did not turn out that way but i guess life is not all about doing what you want.

Turns out to be a really small world. My childhood friend is already staying in the same building where i'll be moving to. Small ya. I hope that God has something planned for that. Wonder whether they go to church den i can follow or something. I understand what its like staying in a box. I have not been out that much and i think that i should take a walk around crown tmr. No.. Not to gamble but when i was there the other day, the scenery was really cool. Wonder whether there is ne who wants just to talk a walk around and have a look. Should i? I'm wondering.

Cheryl's been really cool about me being here so far. I have to say that it really hurts to be away from her. Guess this is the last test before we decide to take the relationship to the next level. Am concerned about her joba dn how those people treat her. I !@#$ing hate them. How can they be like that. I never do understand. I just hope that she gets her pay increment and promotion soon so that she at least has some power to make certain decision. Its organisations like these which will crumble in time due to having no management power.

I think that i shall do some readings. Hopefully my head is receptive. I dun think that i can do ne more today. There is this limit which the more you push the higher it'll become. I wanna push that.

Ok... i;ll try. No more talk. All action. Lets see how hard i can push my mind. I'll just go relax for a while more first.

Just finished creating a list of objectives for school that i wanna complete before this weekend comes to an end. Its quite a long list and i dun think that i will be able to finish it again but i dun think thats impt. The most important thing is i begin to optimise my time. SLowly and unconciously, i am able to concentrate more. Longer attention span. Thank you Lord. Its really helping me.

I made an agreement with god that if i were to get the job as a barista in school that it would be his will, and if i did not, it would be of his will too. I did not get it by the way and to a certain extent i am happy. I do hope that in the future i willl be able to get a really good paying one so that i can have less hours. I could really do with the money. I dunno how long i can stay cooped up here till i go crazy.

So far the only entertainment which i look forward to in the further future which i think money should be spend on. Or at least its placed further down the line, it'll snap me out of the crazy mood. Thats paintball. I believe that its going to be expensive. I dunno how much but i will scrimp and save so that i can go. So far the list is Me, Brandon, Jason, Jensen, Jeremy, Dominic, Matt, Ben, Darren, Weihong, Paul, Ryan(brandon's fren), Seann(jason's fren), Ken(jason's fren), Anis, Chris(my fren). The maybe list is Gen, Joel, Joyce. SO thats 16 confirmed and 3 unknown. We still need another 13 people to take the entire field for ourselves. I hope it works. So ne one here in melbourne. I empasise, In melbourne, wanna play????? just drop me a msg on my tag and i'll try to get back to you.

OK. time to being with the work. But first, to brush my teeth. Wink.

The weeks been good. I guess that i am slowly moving into settling down. Got really pissed just now. I am not sure why coz its the end of the week. Signalling some rest but i guess its maybe coz i dun get any. Even if its on a weekend there is nothing that i do. I seriously wanna find a job soon. I cant really take not being able to spend freely and everything. Its really hard.

Submitted my Enterprise Systems assignemnt yesterday and its a serious load off my chest. To be able to just let go of such a weight just makes you seem like ya flying.

Really homesick for singapore. Could it be that national day just past and it does influence me? I miss cheryl, i miss my family, my friends. There is just so much that you know about where you came from. The people here are nice and all but i have yet to find those who reallly wanna just like hang out or something. Most of my school mates stay far away.. actually they are not that far away just nearer to school. I keep reminding myself that i am here to study so i better not fuck up and thats what keeps me going.

Well, weeks done and i'm going to get a much needed rest otday before i begin studying again tmr. Sigh.

Woke up today with a really bad cough and a slight fever but decided to go to school anyway. I dun wanna miss anything whatsoever. Walked and kinda got lost but found my way back... Cant believe i was feeling so bad i just walked the wrong way. Anyway, I'm not the only one who is sick and i wonder whether there is a virus going around. O well. I will just take good care of my body and i'm sure i'll be fine.

Almost finished with my Enterprise Assignment 1 and i think i should be able to hand it up on thursday. Have to look for the lecturer to ask something about referencing first. Just hopefully, all will be well and i will hand that in on wed. Just found out i have another submission due on wed so i'll do that tmr as well. Am starting to get the hang of it so i should be ok in no time.

Tried applying for the barista job and i wonder whether they are actually going to call me back. Well, i told God that if its his will for me to start working, a job will arise so if they dun call me back i guess its his will as i have done my part.

Cant wait to settle down and all in the new place. Thats only going to occur on the 19 Aug as we wanna give the agents enough time to make sure the place is in tip top or rather acceptable condition. I pray that all goes well. Den its be shopping for furniture. I dread this as i dun wanna spend the money.

God has beeen more den wonderful towards me and i continue to pray for his everlasting grace. I pray too that he will be with cheryl and cover her with his love and blessing which he has shown to me. also, i pray for the control over my vices and so far it seems to be working well. Hopefully sometime in the near future i'll kick it. I pray He'll take care of my studies as i put in the effort and also for cheryl's when she starts. I pray for his guidance in my path each and everyday and for his serenity to be with cheryl over this tough period of time. Keep us both in good health and also that once i settle down i will find a good church where i can worship. Or at least join the OCF. I pray for financial assistance as i continue looking for a job but i pray i will only get one when He feels its time. All these in his name. Amen.

My dateline for the ES assignment is drawing near and i have been stuck on it forever. I have to finish it tmr. I have to. I must. I have to. I must. Its 5 marks out of the whole sem so i pray that all is well. am already 70% complete. Just need to make sure i get it rite.

Thank goodness i checked the date.

Was at home trying to catch up on work the whole day but most of it went to sleep. Later shifted some stuff from here to another guy whom just lives 3 stories above our new place. It was tiring. But good exercise.

Found $35 on the floor and that paid for my dinner and the groceries. Wow. God must really be shining on me. Thank you for taking such good care of me.

Going to be trying to apply for a barista job tmr and hope all goes well. It only pays 14 an hour but i guess thats still good money rite? I'll just apply and if God allows, i'll get it. I'll just wait and see for his revelation.

Its a sat afternoon and i'm surprised i'm home. Yet again i wonder whether i have fully utilised all my time. At least between yseterday and today i got alot of work done. The weather is great and i wonder whetheri;m the only one sitting at home trying to get work done. I cant believe that i am doing this. Its quite cool really. I might become a nerd.

Sometimes i miss my family, cheryl included. It just feels like i am all alone here and we really do take that forgranted sometimes. Well. its back to the work place. At least on tuesday we will be signing the lease. Den do the transfer later coz i'll be in school. Den i can finally settle down in that place and hopefully get better in the time management area. Am thinking of working on a time schedule where i can really focus on time.

My assignment is due soon and i have run out of ideas to add in. I pray god gives me the energy and brain power to just finish it once and for all. ok. I gtg. Will try to be back later.

Its another friday night and here i am trying to cook and study at the same time. Wanted to make sure i dun get left behind so i decided to catch up first den relax someother time. Anyway, i have plenty of time to right? at least i hope so.

Just flipped the chicken in the oven so i hope its got at least some taste. Koba went out to eat. Cant expect him to keep eating home all the while so i think that once i get settled at the new place, i'll try really just cooking by myself.

O yes. Managed to get the apartment koba was viewing today. They called back already but still the process is not finished yet. We still have to go down and make sure we sign the contract. I think that should be done soon. Need to talk to koba about who will get what when we get there. I am hoping to get the larger room with a toilet and all so that in case there is anyone over, i'll just lock myself there and study. Thats what i hope to do but we have to discuss it. Just at this palce, i dunhave my own space to concentrate and all. Everyone comes and goes. So much noise and i cant seem to do my work properly. O well.

Its the beginning of cheryl's weekend so i hope that she has fun but takes good care of herself. More water. Will try to read her letter again later.

I just finish school for the week. Telecomm was a bitch. Seriously, the ways lessons are supposed to work are just dumb but i guess that i dun have a choice but to follow the way its done here. Org processes was wonderful.

Need to email my lecturer to confirm that i have the place in the ecommerce class with the rest of the guys. Really hate the fact that i know no one there. Singaporeans can be groupy and i guess that after all, i am one of them.

Koba viewed the apartment this morning after i went to school. So far, all is well but i have to keep my fingers crossed again. The last time it went like that too so hopefully koba can get his bank statement tmr and den we can go down and take the place and make sure that its our for sure this time.

So overall, it was an ok day. Nothing big till i met Koba on my way back from school to get the key. He told me that i got a package from CHERYL!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!! i was so happy i rushed back to read. Den here i am blogging straight away... My baby is so sweet.

Cant wait for her to get home so we can talk!!!

Had arough day yesterday. worst case was i found out that the apartment whcih was supposed to be ours was already leased out so off we are on another search to find one. I guess that since its more to the time koba starts working, he is more panicky but i really hope that we get a place. It'd be good if it was the lonsdale one den rent it out the car park and it'll still be cheaper though more den the budget i expected here. Now i understand why sometimes people have misunderstanding with their housemates so it just proves my theory of being blunt. Well, i hope that me and koba nv get into an argument.

So i'm off to the bank to draw out money for koba to put in his bank to get a statement. After getting the place, we'll talk about the details.

Its raining. I wonder how i am going to get to school.

Read a post on how hard it is for cheryl and i'm feeling terrible too. Also coz i do feel the same way but i have so much to complete everyday that sometimes i have to admit, my mind transfers to school work and getting settled in. I wish i could do something to help her. A suggestion came up and i think that that might be the best step. Maybe talking less and everything will help her to feel better. I just cant help it when she is sad, disappointed, angry, whatever. I can see it, hear it, still sense it though its over Skype. Sometimes its amazing.

I'm so sorry to all that i have not replied to very the past 2 weeks but i beg you to have me settle down first. I Have quite a bit to get done. Housing is almost settled. Koba has to talk to the guy to transfer the lease before we are confirmed. School work is ok but i am still lagging behind a little. I sometimes dun think that i am optimising my time fully. I have to learn. but its going to take a while.

My friends house was broken into yesterday. They stole most of his expensive stuff. Laptop and all. Seriously, its not safe here and i dun really know what to say. Sometimes we take security for granted. I will keep that in mind.

I just hope that cheryl always knows that i am totally committed to her. And no matter what things seem, i really am trying hard. Have to learn to be less hard up and more easy going too. Sigh. I miss you dear. I'm so sorry that we dun ahve the most of time to talk. I really am. Kiss.

Back to work.