I dunno whats come over me. Esp over that last week. My heads playing games again. Argh.. Was so sure that i was over this. Am so confused. I dunno what i am doing. I live through the week for the day of bookout ( now known as liberty in the navy) to come out and when i dun have ne one to go out with i get depressed. Not really but a lill sian lar.. den as the hours go by, it starts to multiply and intensify. I realised another thing that i used to do alot was chat on the phone... weird for a guy right? yeah whatever... but every since that last year, its been so different and i;m beginning to miss it. I have been all this while but not as much as now. Die lar.. have no idea how i am going to be able to get through this week smoothly... I truthfully am uncertain. I'll back in camp in a lill bit. How? how?

Lord i pray for the serenity to fall on me again.
For me to look for you always.
Whether in times of joy, pain, etc.
but yet again if this is something that you require me to go through, i'll do it
but i am weak so please walk with me every step of the way.
i thank you for all you've done thus far.
I commit this week into your hands.
Cover me by your grace
never let me take my eyes off you.
Amen

I'm am unwritten, cant read my mind, i'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition,
sometimes my tries,
are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes,
but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

yet again. yet again. This feeling overcomes. Everything seems to disipate of colour. Depression? i dunno. i would guess so. Have realised that sometimes i rely on certain people to pull me through this life that i so dread to lead. Since i've booked out on friday night, i haven really been out with friends cept janna for dinner yesterday but that was all. Mainly i was so so tired and there was no one to go out with. Sad ya? i also think so. The tears no longer come. i have become so accustomed to it already. Army has taken up much of my time so what will it be if there was no army? would i still be suffering? would i. I'd like to know. It'd define whether i have truely grown from what i used to be. its been a fucking year dammit. How can it be that i have not yet jumped a chapter in my life. The little bits that are left dragging along. No everyone experiences this kinda thing so y me? one of the lucky few? just my luck ya. !@#$. am late. have to go.

i got a story it's almost finished
all i need is someone to tell it too
maybe, thats you.

our time is borrowed and spent to freely
every minute i have needs to be made up
but how?
im looking for a nice way to say"i'm out."
i want out.

i fall asleep with my friends around me
only place i know, i feel safe
im gonna call this home

the open road is still miles away
ain't nothing serious
we still have our fun
oh we had it once
but windows open and close
thats just how it goes

dont it feel like sunshine after
allthe world we love forever, gone
we're only just as happy
as everyone else seems to think we are

im in love with the ordinary
i need a simple spaceto rest my head
and everything gets clear
well im a little ashamed for asking
but just a little helps
it gets me straight again
helps me get over it

it might seem like a dream
but it's real to me

dont it feel like sunshine after
allthe world we love forever, gone
we're only just as happy
as everyone else seems to think we are

you should the canals are freezing
you should see me high
you should just be here
be with me here
it doesnt seem theres hope for me
i let you down
but i wont give in now
not for a million nows

have i mentioned how tired i have been lately. I am so TIRED!!!!!