Its all you now Lord. My mind is in your hands. My head is messed up, my heart heavy. And in this state of tremendous turmoil. I sing a song. A song to You Lord. To you alone. That in great trouble i will still praise you no matter what.

Lord, Rescue Me


When im alone the world is such a different place
Sometimes its hard to keep the smile upon my face
It seems like I try so hard and still I let you down
Its taken so long but now theres one thing that Ive found

When everyting starts crashing down
When all I know falls to the ground
When darkness comes and I can't see
You're always there to rescue me

Just when I think that Ive got it figured out
You open my eyes and let me see that theres no doubt
But you've got it all within the power of your hand
It seems like the more I know the less I understand

When everyting starts crashing down
When all I know falls to the ground
When darkness comes and I can't see
You're always there to rescue me
When all my strength has turned to fear
When I wonder if you're near
When I dont know how to break free
You're always there to rescue me

I wonder if I'll make it through this darkest night
I need to know your strength in me gonna win this fight
Im reaching out wont you take my hand show me to the light
I know you're by my side

It seems like I try so hard and still I let you down
Its taken so long but now theres one thing that Ive found

When everyting starts crashing down
When all I know falls to the ground
When darkness comes and I can't see
You're always there to rescue me
When all my strength has turned to fear
When I wonder if you're near
When I dont know how to break free
You're always there to rescue me



You're always there to rescue me



No matter the outcome Lord, never le me go.

Is it time? I dunno.

The melancholic plethora warps into a mass of confusion. I have no idea what the !@#% i am doing. There is is so much to get done... Ar.. Everything begins to turn to a distraction. The fickle weather is not helping too... Its supposed to be spring damn it.. not freaking winter... heat up a lill pleasssseeeee..... I believe all these ramblings are brewed from the pissed-off-ness with electronic commerce.. Piece of shit subject. Bloody exams... I wanna just blank out. But i cant... I have the burden of my parents hopes and dreams... and mine too... now that i think about it. Damn. There are so many distractions. Mainly one and its killing me.. y cant i just ge the fucking study mood... i need it now... the time draws near.....aaaarrrrrr....... i cant do this. where has all the control fled to... in the navy i sat my ass down to force it so y cant i get it now!!! ar. @!#$

God please... let me find a peace, a calmness, the serenity of grace later. But also that i will have a clear mind. One set on just worship for there can be no other way.

Sigh. There is so much to be done. Its so tiring. Where are you?


I picture you in the sun
wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees
asking for sympathy
And being caught in between
all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything
you can feel that you can believe in

May god's love be with you
Always
May god's love be with you

I know I would apologize
if I could see your eyes'
cause when you showed me myself
I became someone else
But I was caught in between
all you wish for and all you need
I picture you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You can't keep awake

May god's love be with you
Always
May god's love be with you

'cause if I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
If I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find You

I don't know anymore
What it's for
I'm not even sure
If there is anyone
who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
'cause I been caught in between
all I wish for and all I need
Maybe you're not even sure
what it's for
Any more than me

May god's love be with you
Always
May god's love be with you


In the Sun - Joseph Arthur

Multitasking was the agenda yet again coz the mood to study is still not here. Y? damnit. Migrane hit me bad too and i had trouble sleeping coz it hurt so much. Mr panadol din really help but finally when i crashed into oblivion, the much needed rest began.

Hours later, the panic of lack of time sunk in and the studies began. Still being unable to study, i listenedto lectures and cleaned...at least i got something done..

Going to play the guitar till 0030 den call cheryl.. she should be just about to reach home at that time.

To those whom read all i post, this is for you. Read through it. I gurantee you wun be disappointed. Make sure to click on the links too. Enjoy!

The day began waking up late and trying to study and was overcome by the evil distraction monster of the modern era, youtube (for those whom have no idea what it is, its time to wake up to technology). I blame willy lee wei li for sending me a clip on As i was saying it started off like .

So distraction overwhelmed me and this and here were some of the clips which i watched. Suddenly, i remembered that i wanted to show a few friends about some clips which i saw the other day so went in search of them. They are below.

Soon you you see the flow. Trying to figure out how to entertain all my readers. Well, here is a sneak peak into the jist of my entry. Hang in there!

And then i remembered my roots of the not so long ago, which i watched here. It was good to remind myself of the memories. And then it all began to transform.

But first a bit of a music video which is not 5 star i have to say so you may skip to the next link after watching a bit of this but make sure still to watch it.

Unimelb has made me write in a way so that i can get more marks. Dun get me wrong. I had to learn it by trial and error. They din teach me shit. Ok. The real good stuff begins. I am so sure that transformers the movie is so going to be sponsered like crazy by car brand. So its the argument above and evidence is here, here, even more here, yet again here, and here!.

So it goes on. Everything in studying can related to trends. Except maybe maths. Haha. Ok its not a theory. It can be proven wrong. But so far so many of my subjects have lead to trends and analysis beginning. The transformer trend is one i believe to explode into a plethora of advertisements. Early birds such as this, this, this, this and this are such evidence to suggest the above.

Anyway, transformers! there is a clip here, and another below which i think will be many peoples favourite (which includes me). Optimus!!!



But how can you end without referencing? It would be plagerism. So (youtube.com 2006) you are a web2.0 aspect of contribution that well, is just currently way above the rest.

Now, back to work.

Rem to Tag me on the PDA looking button on the side bar its the 4th button.

its been a while since i just went out to chill and walk around and do nothing. Guess its the last break before the study time kicks in. I hope it kicks in soon. I wanna do well.

Anyway, one of my sec skool friends came down. And how small our home country of Singapore is.. Not to mention Melbourne. So he knows me classmate so the group of us went out to view appt den go walk around the shopping mall and den later at night, eat.

Guess what.. when we were shopping, decided to cut hair and just went. Get it done once and for all. I'm ok with it. But i have to say that i am still unhappy. It was not a good job so now i have to really style it. !@#$. O well, but what is done is done and there is nothing that i can do about it. So i hope no one sees me when i dun put wax. Its really shit.

On the way back from chadston, we encountered 2 weirdos. One was a loser punter and the other was 2 homeless guys fighting. Australia sure is a strange place sometimes but i think that i'm used to it. Just cant stand some racist people but i cant really blame them. I'm a little racist too but am trying not to be.

Matt treated us to a meal. $160 in all and i feel really bad. I hope that in the near future i will be able to treat him back or something coz if there is one person from school that i trust, its him. Yes it sounds gay but i reassure you that i am not.

AND I KILLED A COCKROACH ROAMING IN MY ROOM TODAY> HOPE THEY ARE NOT BACK>

I miss cheryl bad and i dun blame her when she is pissed with me. I just cant wait to get back home to her.

Anyway, its been an eventful day and i am thankful that the lord has blessed be. Church tmr! yahoo.

Alot has been happening so far for me.

Stress as usual but i believe that many people experience this all the time especially Singaporeans. I blame our culture and the government for no minimum wage laws. It just makes everyone revolve around 3 things. Which are money, money and money.

Group mates have been pissing me off real bad but i have learnt tolerance. And thank God for teaching me that. I am no longer that explosive at every little thing. We all work differently and as long as we are at the same level of seniority i will remain silent but i think when i get promoted i might become a slave driver. but that is for another time and place and another thing to learn.

Happiness has been fluctuating though. But if there is anything i have learn in life is that we should forever be contented with the little things. Whether you are a christian or not, try it and you will see the truth. BTW it appears in the bible so if you are not a christian, think about it. You might see the light.

To conclude this, life is plain. Just like water. Its what we make it. What flavour we choose to let it be. but at the end of the day, its still made of the same thing. Look at it. Taste it. Then maybe you will see that its candy coated.

Enjoy----->

What is this
Mass confusion
This crazy way we're living
This emptiness we're passing out
Like candycoatedwaterdrops
I'm spilling out my thoughts
You're spilling out your guts

And i can't help but stop and think that

If the world stopped spinning
If the end was beginning
Would you even notice if i wasn't there?
If the world stopped spinning around

"all that's worth dying for is already dead"
An empty religion you've learned to accept
When nothing means everything, your
Daily routine
You go through the motions like a
Helpless machine

You're spinning 'round
You're spinning 'round
But i can't help wondering
You're spinning 'round
You're spinning 'round
But i can't help wondering

When the answers to everything are right
In your hands
You lose your conviction, but you can't
Help standing
On the one thing that held you for so
Many years

You ask for forgiveness and hold back the
Tears

Have you ever had to question your foundations? The very basis of which you live. Your happiness? What the fuck that you are doing here. Where did i go wrong?

There are so many decisions to make in life and every one takes a different turn. Did i fuck it up bad by choosing to come here? What have i done? Was i ment to study in singapore? If not why the fuck do i feel so shitty here? There is no where to turn to hide. The only place is in the room of which everything i have dwells. I cant concentrate at all. I wanna just give up but my personality is not like that. i Keep at it. I keep on fighting.

Its just one of those choices where there is no turning back. Damage to the future will be inevitable.

I can only pray that you can hear me. You can hear my pain. My call. For you are the only one that has been with me through each and every step of the way. Even when i hated you and never could understand. In time you came back. I believe you were always there just i could not see. And that is all i have. Faith that no matter what that you are there. But y? can you tell me? how do i go on? if you could just show me. Please i ask. For i see no meaning. I wanna hear your voice but i hear nothing. Its only in prayer and in church that i feel a certain presence. I want more. Why? am i not seeking hard enough?

I cant seem to do anything now and the datelines are here. I guess i will not get to rest again. Hopefully the nap will be beneficial. Please. Show me. Please guide me. I have nothing left. I am running dry.

And now my happiness is in question. The foundation on which it is built is in doubt. Could it be an anger fit? i am not sure. If i have ever been really sure about one decision, it will be that. but its not my call alone. I have just a part to play and i am trying to play it from so fucking far away. How am i suppose to feel better even if its ok wheni get back? there is another hurdle after that. one which is twice as long and even after that again.

Help me. Please

The past few weeks has been so tiring. Body battered and worn. Mind shredded to pieces. The will to function is not there. I cannot find the motivation to get things done. I am beginning to wonder whether it is just the particular assignment which is causing me so much trouble. I just cant seem to get it done. I feel so useless. Seems that there are those around me which have started studying already. And i feel left behind.

Food has been good though. Koba's parents cook almost all the time. And they clean and wash too. It nice. They are really nice to me and i am very grateful.

Cheryl has been really strong lately. Except for the moth incident. I apologise to everyone for not blogging. Its been hectic. After this week i will have to really sit my ass down and study. I pray that the lord will grant me the strength.

Dear lord i pray for cheryl. Her stomach is not too good. I claim in your name that it will be cured. I thank you for allowing her to be praised for her work and that she is doing well. Thank you for keeping her safe and please always be with her each step of the way. As for me, thank you for bringing me this far already. Without you i would be nowhere. I pray for the exams ahead remembering that i have left the hope of getting a scholarship in your hands. As i begin to hit ecommerce for work again i pray that your wisdom will pour through me as i write the essay. Thank you Lord. Amen

not sure how old this is but its funny.. help to cheer me up at 3 in the morning.

It is time like these wen i wonder whether i have been a good bf or not. I am unsure. And so far i haven heard anything good so i assume thats bad. Sigh.

Exams are in a month and its still taking a while to sink in. I hope that tmr when i wake up that it'll get things done. I pray i do. There is no time left to just play around.

Cheryl's having a fever and i am worried again that she is too stressed out and i was not there for her yet again. i feel like i have been a really terrible bf. I hate being apart from her. I hope her concert goes smoothly. Lord i pray that you will take good care of her health. That she may awake refreshed and ready to go. The you will supply her with the lines which she has memorized. That it will all go smoothly and her superiors will see her as a vital person. Please take good care of her and remind her once in a while of me.. just in case. In your precious and holy name.Amen.

Matt and Ben cameto my place to "celebrate" the moon cake thing. Just taked and had a couple of beers. It was nice. I hope that they will move near me so that next time they can just come over and things will be so much easier... Or we can just go hang at their place.

Did you rise the sun for me?
Or paint a million stars that I might know your majesty?
Is your voice upon the wind,
is everything I know marked with my makers fingerprints?

Breathe on me, let me see your face.
Ever I will seek you

Cause all you are is all I want, Always
Draw me close in your arms, oh God
I wanna be with you

Can I feel you in the rain?
Abandon all I am to have you capture me again.
Let the earth resound with praise,
can you hear as all creation lives to glorify one name?

Breathe on me, let me see your face
Ever I will seek you.

Cause all you are is all i want, always
Draw me close in your arms, oh God
I wanna be with you

Lord, i thank you for the littlest of things which you have taught me. I thank you for being with me each step of the way. Thank you fo helping me identify who and what i am to do. I pray that your holy spirit will forever be with me. That i am always be your presence as there is nothing much wonderful then that. I wanna thank you again for ES assignment getting 18/20 and giving me the will will to seek more knowledge. Lord, i pray that you will bless me with determination and motivation as i proceed to this final leg of the semester with the term with the last few assignments and examinations. I pray you will show me people who i can bring back to know you. I thank you for cheryl, the most wonderful gerl who has stood by me and continues to show me the support through this changing time. I pray you be with her always and grant her joy. I pray for that on thursday when i get back my org process assignment that i will be able to glorify your name. I hold your promises close and you closer. I pray for those i think of dearly that have not yet known you. Koba, Anand, Peter. I pray that you be with stephen through this time that you will once again show him and guide him to you once again. That you may be with him in his times of need. As the road draws near to his pt of making decisions about life again that you sow the seed of hope once again. I thank you for keeping my family safe. So as i continue to work, i pray your strength be in my aching muscles and fatigued bones. Thank you Lord. You are no doubt worthy. You are no doubt great. The great almighty. I place again my hopes of a scholarship into your hands. I place cheryls workplace into your hands. Also i pray for as i have a long time ago. That i may be granted the blessing of the holy spirit through tongues that i may praise you and praise you and praise you. I place all my hopes, all my dreams, all my wants in you. Amen.