From today onwards, i'll mostly only be able to blog on saturdays and sundays. Basic Militry Training has begun and its no walk in park so to speak. Once again i find the mental stress piling on.
Its been altogether more den a year since my only dream i held disappeared. Till now, the scars remain. Embedded deep within. I cannot express what this feeling brings. I sit here in front of the computer wondering what in the world i am doing in life which will improve and help my future. On my cupboard in camp, there is a quote. From where i cannot tell. Most probably from a dreamer. It says :
"cherish your todays,
dream your tomorrows,
but live today."
Strangely, on the cupboards of others, each bears different significance on the owners life.
Have been through lotsa strange things in camp, friendships etc, that have made me wonder again. Live today right? So far, i have been focusing on the live today portion which i thought to be the root of it all. But i guess live today means nothing by itself without the rest of the phrase. My frisbee team has moved on without me. I cant be there even if i want to. The friendships are wearing down over time. Sad but true. Nothing lasts in this world. Not even diamonds. But relationships?
Was out with tim, matt, dillon, and gene (my self declared bud), my platoon mates for supper which was actually dinner and a flick, i-robot. Btw, its a seriously good show so i think that everyone should watch it. It seems to me that in their lives there is also this void. Just how people fill it remains different to each individuals personal needs and wants. For me, i have failed in finding what fills it. Maybe because at this point it still can only be jess. just maybe.
Till now, losta my good friends whom i trust already know bout it and have adviced me. I myself noe so much of everything in theory. Unfortunately, till now, the applications fail to relieve the pain. Most of this time which has passed has only seemed to prolong it.
Army brings about a change in most people correct? how true. How will it change me. From what i have seen in camp, there are those whom have gone through relationship problems and they are fighting hard to mend the holes which absense causes. Much of their pain i understand but men being men, i guess, the easiest way is to leave them be and let them handle it by themselves. It be really nice to have someone there supporting you and missing you and all but somethings, i guess i might not enjoy for a while.
i have to sleep now else my body clock is seriously going to fuck up.... will cont when i wake.
Its been altogether more den a year since my only dream i held disappeared. Till now, the scars remain. Embedded deep within. I cannot express what this feeling brings. I sit here in front of the computer wondering what in the world i am doing in life which will improve and help my future. On my cupboard in camp, there is a quote. From where i cannot tell. Most probably from a dreamer. It says :
dream your tomorrows,
but live today."
Strangely, on the cupboards of others, each bears different significance on the owners life.
Have been through lotsa strange things in camp, friendships etc, that have made me wonder again. Live today right? So far, i have been focusing on the live today portion which i thought to be the root of it all. But i guess live today means nothing by itself without the rest of the phrase. My frisbee team has moved on without me. I cant be there even if i want to. The friendships are wearing down over time. Sad but true. Nothing lasts in this world. Not even diamonds. But relationships?
Was out with tim, matt, dillon, and gene (my self declared bud), my platoon mates for supper which was actually dinner and a flick, i-robot. Btw, its a seriously good show so i think that everyone should watch it. It seems to me that in their lives there is also this void. Just how people fill it remains different to each individuals personal needs and wants. For me, i have failed in finding what fills it. Maybe because at this point it still can only be jess. just maybe.
Till now, losta my good friends whom i trust already know bout it and have adviced me. I myself noe so much of everything in theory. Unfortunately, till now, the applications fail to relieve the pain. Most of this time which has passed has only seemed to prolong it.
Army brings about a change in most people correct? how true. How will it change me. From what i have seen in camp, there are those whom have gone through relationship problems and they are fighting hard to mend the holes which absense causes. Much of their pain i understand but men being men, i guess, the easiest way is to leave them be and let them handle it by themselves. It be really nice to have someone there supporting you and missing you and all but somethings, i guess i might not enjoy for a while.
i have to sleep now else my body clock is seriously going to fuck up.... will cont when i wake.
