Today marks the day that i am finished with the COPA America tournament. What does that mean? Lemme explain to you. I am officially broke. Yes broke. There are no last chances or even the lill bit to try to regain a small percentage of that grand total. It is not the most i have ever lost in a tournament/league. The final game loss for EURO2004 din help.
I remember a couple a years back when i played the largest amount on a single match and lost terribly. That was hell. If i am not wrong, i never did spend on anything after that. Now, i am faced once again with a predicament. I ask myself why do i do this. Why do i keep going for it. Is it the $$? Whether you believe it or not, no. Do NOT misunderstand that i have an abundence in stash or that i do not understand the meaning of money. Stupidly, the under-lying truth remains concrete. I needed something to look forward to. Something where i can wake up and not make me think that i have nothing else to do. Its a horrible feeling to lose. I haven lost much compared to some but still, there is nothing left in the bank. Which gets me wondering... How in the monkey nuts am i supposed to survive from here on. What will my parents say when they see the "emptiness". Luckily it is still 2 digits (not including the decimal point) and has a zero which will allow me to hang on by the skin of my teeth before i return to hell.
Hell actually is rather an ok place actually. Some few nice individuals. Reasonable sergeants whom i respect. (i am serious). The though of battering my body till it can no longer exert itself does not feel ideal. Strangely, its going to be my hiding place for the next few months. Unfortunately, they have already paid forward fer next month which means i am kinda screwed. Still, i shall wait patiently for the few that owe me $$ and have not returned yet. Once i have run dry, i do not think that i will show much mercy in the way i collect it back. Sigh.
awaiting:
-inuyasha 158-
-naruto 92-
-full metal alchemist 38-
-DN angel full series-
-gunslinger girl full series-
-gungrave full series-
--keluarbaris (thank you Saiful for correcting my atrocious malay spelling)--
I remember a couple a years back when i played the largest amount on a single match and lost terribly. That was hell. If i am not wrong, i never did spend on anything after that. Now, i am faced once again with a predicament. I ask myself why do i do this. Why do i keep going for it. Is it the $$? Whether you believe it or not, no. Do NOT misunderstand that i have an abundence in stash or that i do not understand the meaning of money. Stupidly, the under-lying truth remains concrete. I needed something to look forward to. Something where i can wake up and not make me think that i have nothing else to do. Its a horrible feeling to lose. I haven lost much compared to some but still, there is nothing left in the bank. Which gets me wondering... How in the monkey nuts am i supposed to survive from here on. What will my parents say when they see the "emptiness". Luckily it is still 2 digits (not including the decimal point) and has a zero which will allow me to hang on by the skin of my teeth before i return to hell.
Hell actually is rather an ok place actually. Some few nice individuals. Reasonable sergeants whom i respect. (i am serious). The though of battering my body till it can no longer exert itself does not feel ideal. Strangely, its going to be my hiding place for the next few months. Unfortunately, they have already paid forward fer next month which means i am kinda screwed. Still, i shall wait patiently for the few that owe me $$ and have not returned yet. Once i have run dry, i do not think that i will show much mercy in the way i collect it back. Sigh.
awaiting:
-inuyasha 158-
-naruto 92-
-full metal alchemist 38-
-DN angel full series-
-gunslinger girl full series-
-gungrave full series-
--keluarbaris (thank you Saiful for correcting my atrocious malay spelling)--
