Deep down in my heart, i guess that the feeling has not really gone away. I feeling of disappointment, i feeling of pain. This void i just cannot understand. O lord, what have you been trying to teach me through all of this. I wanna know. I pray but sometimes i think that i am so far away from you that you just cant here me. Through certain things though, mercy you have shown. I am thankful for that. Your protection forms the boundaries where i walk. But its only after i thread onto unknown ground and learn the hard way do i see that you have blocked off some of the dangers to me. Lord i wanna move in your way because there is no fighting it. But i cant see it. I wanna have faith to just walk but my eyes, my mind, my heart, my ears, my touch do not seem to want to follow. Teach me lord. Show me now that i may gain such understanding. That i may walk the path chosen for me. All this while its been long and seriously taxing and i am running out of strength again. I need you to be with me. I cannot move forward any longer.