I just watched a really shitty show called "friends with money". It was kinda depressing and everything. I really wonder why it was rated well on filmcritics.com.
I stood staring blankly in the balcony. Trying hard to see what was happening around and what makes the world go round. Is it money? Many people say that it is and there have been endless theories. Upon much thinking, i think my theory would be finding that happiness. Many find solace in money which can buy material things of which make them happy. I'm not sure if i am one of them but i do know that the ability of endless spending is tempting. There is so much that one can do.
What drives me then? who am i? where am i?
Currently, my life is in a 3000 dollar laptop. Most of my time is spent on it. To entertain my boredom. To get work done. The downloading of shows to watch. Where does it stop? I found myself slogging over every meticulous detail on a group project which i think that i can do well in and i wonder.. what the fuck is going on. What is it that i truely like. Could this be because cheryl's just not here?
It could be. There is really no one that i have here that i can really call a true friend that i can pour out my heart to. I miss my friends back home. I believe that to some extent, they were controlling my insanity. Am i going mad?
I dunno what else to say. The solace i cannot find. Am i just plain lazy? My fucking objective here is to do well. Not waste my parents hard earned money. To make them proud. Get the degree. Maybe study even harder to get a postgrad one and enter the working world to earn my keep. Start a family and all.
Where does this cycle end?
Lord, i am running out of juice. I see no joy. I feel no joy. I feel torn apart. I have been trying fucking hard to hold myself together but i am getting the feeling that i am breaking up.
I feel lost. i dunno what to do.
I stood staring blankly in the balcony. Trying hard to see what was happening around and what makes the world go round. Is it money? Many people say that it is and there have been endless theories. Upon much thinking, i think my theory would be finding that happiness. Many find solace in money which can buy material things of which make them happy. I'm not sure if i am one of them but i do know that the ability of endless spending is tempting. There is so much that one can do.
What drives me then? who am i? where am i?
Currently, my life is in a 3000 dollar laptop. Most of my time is spent on it. To entertain my boredom. To get work done. The downloading of shows to watch. Where does it stop? I found myself slogging over every meticulous detail on a group project which i think that i can do well in and i wonder.. what the fuck is going on. What is it that i truely like. Could this be because cheryl's just not here?
It could be. There is really no one that i have here that i can really call a true friend that i can pour out my heart to. I miss my friends back home. I believe that to some extent, they were controlling my insanity. Am i going mad?
I dunno what else to say. The solace i cannot find. Am i just plain lazy? My fucking objective here is to do well. Not waste my parents hard earned money. To make them proud. Get the degree. Maybe study even harder to get a postgrad one and enter the working world to earn my keep. Start a family and all.
Where does this cycle end?
Lord, i am running out of juice. I see no joy. I feel no joy. I feel torn apart. I have been trying fucking hard to hold myself together but i am getting the feeling that i am breaking up.
I feel lost. i dunno what to do.
